06 Jun With all my dating woes, I refuse to swipe for friends
I have never done this. However, I know people who have done this and have successfully used it to make friends in a new city.
If you’re unfamiliar with it: there’s an app called Bumble. It is primarily for dating, and what makes it different than Tinder or any of the other swiping apps is that when you match with someone, the girl has to make the first move/send a message first. She has 24 hours to do so; otherwise, the match disappears. Then, the guy has 24 hours to respond; otherwise, again, the match disappears.
It’s nice that, as a female, you can avoid unsolicited messages, and also, the time limits ensure that someone is interested and capable of making an effort.
Bumble BFF is a variation in that you “swipe for friends,” and you can tailor your profile to what you’re looking for. For instance, if you want a buddy to do activities with, go to the gym, go out for hikes, etc., you can specify that. Since I’ve not done it, I’m not sure if there’s a time limit to responding, but as I mentioned, I know people who have used this successfully, and it’s certainly an avenue to explore when you’re trying to figure out how to make friends in a new city. Worst case scenario, it doesn’t work, and you can move on to other efforts.
Be Friends With Those You Date
One thing I will say is don’t use dating to fill your time and social calendar. I have done this, and it’s so NOT worth it. Your free time is a precious commodity, and you should protect it and not waste it with people to get out of the house.
However, I do suggest that if you go on dates (with people you’re interested in meeting), then use that as an opportunity to get to really know them. If, for whatever reason, it doesn’t work out, then try and see if you can stay friends. While this is not something I suggest you do right off the bat when figuring out how to make friends in a new city, it is something you can start to consider once you’ve settled in and gotten to a place where back to point 1, you are comfortable being with yourself.
Attend Networking Events
Sometimes the question of “how to make friends in a new city” is secondary to why you moved to a new city in the first place. For many of us, we move because of career opportunities.
Building upon that, depending on your career trajectory and interests, you should attend networking events in your area related to future goals and plans. These events can help you pursue your career goals and help you meet like-minded people.
Through networking, you may learn of other avenues that will help you to continue your path to make friends in a new city.
Volunteering your time is a great way to get out of the house and give back (thus increasing happiness and life satisfaction) and meet new people in your neighborhood and community.
You never know how people in your community are connected and how they can help you in your quest to make friends.
Again, focus on volunteering activities that align with your interests. For instance, if you love animals, spend time at a local shelter. This way, when you make new friends, you already have common interests to build off!
What I Don’t Recommend
Don’t hang out with people who bring you down, make you feel bad, or have no common interests as you to have something to do. While it’s hard to adapt to life-changing events and get settled into a new place and challenging to go it alone, you will only worsen your overall emotional health when you spend time with the wrong people.